"I am the Very Model of a Pragmatic Humanitarian"

Music by Gilbert & Sullivan / Arrangement by Howard Ferguson
Vocals by Lara Larberg and Michael E. Arth / Lyrics by Michael E. Arth

1. My name is Michael Arth. This is why I’m running for Governor. (Clears throat)
2. I am the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian.
3. I’m combination designer, philosopher and utilitarian.
4. I know the presidents and can debate their merits rhetorical
5. From Washington to Obama, in order categorical.
6. I have some acquaintance, too, with matters mathematical
7. Regarding ideas for family planning and taxes that are logical.
8. I study things deep, arcane or even topical
9. In application to helpful things that are quite practical 
10. Like build a house, design a town, or steer the ship of state.
11. He can build a house, design a town, or steer the ship of state.
12. He can build a house, design a town, or steer the ship of state.
13. He can build a house, design a town, or steer the ship of Florida’s state
14. And with electoral reform there will be positive synergy,
15. To bring new leaders and ideas that will clean up our democracy.
16. In short, I’m a designer, philosopher, and utilitarian
17. I am the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian.
18. In short, he’s a designer, philosopher, and utilitarian.
19. He is the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian.
20. The two parties say that it’s about the power and the gold
21. The rights and privileges we deserve have been sold.
22. Campaign advisors say to speak nothing of this autocracy
23. Keep voters clapping with compliments and pleasantry
24. They say to tell people simple things they want to hear
25. Or misdirect them with all kinds of things built on fear
26. Like terrorism, socialism, death squads, and they’ll take your guns.
27. Carry a cross, wave the flag, beware of the drugs—and the bums!
28. And don’t forget to say that you going to cut the tax.
29. Remember that unless you lie about these things, you’ll get the ax.  
30. Gimme your money, the power—keep the status quo—forget the facts.
31. Gimme your money, the power—keep the status quo—forget the facts.
32. Gimme your money, the power—keep the status quo—forget the facts.
33. No more spoilers, gerrymanders, vote strategizing or first-past-the-post
34. No unfair voting, pay-for-play or paid lobbyists to host.
35. In short I’m combination designer, philosopher and utilitarian.
36. I am the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian.
37. In short he’s a designer, philosopher, and utilitarian,
38. He is the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian.
39. We should stop building prisons and end the War on Drugs
40. It’s unconstitutional, doesn’t work, costs a lot, and makes more thugs.
41. It’s a crime made of things not criminal, said Lincoln of prohibition
42. It’s a distraction from something truly bad, like a stinkin’ politician
43. Or an energy policy based on war, pollution, debt and corporate expropriation.
44. Our growth policies have created a suburban nation.
45. Our conglomerating media is based on tabloidization
46. If it bleeds it leads and if it thinks it stinks beyond recognition.
47. This happens because fairness is something we fail to appreciate. 
48. Therefore representative democracy is something we must contemplate.
49. Representative democracy is something we must contemplate.
50. Representative democracy is something we must contemplate.
51. Representative democracy is something we must contem-contemplate.
52. The election is near so I will do my best to endure and strive
53. And even if I lose this time the ideas will remain and we’ll survive.
54. Because I am a designer, philosopher and utilitarian
55. I am the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian
56. Because he is a designer, philosopher and utilitarian
57. He is the very model of a pragmatic humanitarian.
58. Democracy! Yes! Michael Arth! A leader and ideas we deserve. It’s up to us, after all! This time we have a choice! Michael Arth for Governor!